Saturday, March 10, 2007

change

Starting this year has been hard for me.

I look back on the past 23 years and I am suddenly very afraid that my life has become stagnant. 2006 was the first year since 1983 that things haven't changed significantly for me. When you're little, life is full of changes - eating solid food, crawling, walking, potty-training, speaking, writing, starting school, reading, etc etc etc. Just when you think you have being a kid under control, you have to learn how to be a teenager. Your body changes, your friends change, you learn how to drive, and how to be a general pain in the butt. But it doesn't stop there - suddenly you're whisked away to college where you have another solid four years of change. Moving into and out of dorms, new roommates, a whole new set of friends, new diet, new classes - a whole new lifestyle.

Anyway, I've been out of school now just shy of two years. The first year was satisfying - completing an internship, starting a new job, living in a new place. The second year was fine too - I finally felt like I had a chance to catch up and take a breather; I had an opportunity to start this thing called the rest of my life.

But now, as I look out on the year 2007, I'm craving that change. That sense of something new and exciting to look forward to, another landmark in my life. And I don't see it.

I guess the realization I'm coming to is that now, at this point in my life, I must create the change for myself. It's not going to simply happen anymore. I have to make it happen.

I'm gonna work on that.

It seems like when you get accustomed to change, change becomes the norm. A sudden lack of change, then, is a huge change.

2 comments:

Steven said...

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
Romans 8:25

Don't try and force a change on your life if it isn't His will. Sometimes it takes great patience and time for Him to make a change in your life.

Jamie Kayle said...

Well it seems you've got some things a bit shaken up...you've never broken a bone before have you? :p I'm sorry that sucks.
I completely understand how you feel...I haven't even been out of school for a year and I'm already starting to feel anxious. Lucky for me, Jessie and I are looking for a new place...so I think that may suffice to satisfy my craving for change this year. I've had so much within the past year I'm not sure why I'd need anymore - human nature I suppose. The grass is always greener on the other side...