Wednesday, August 13, 2008

On Friendship

Well, as some of you probably know, it's been kind of a trying time in my life recently. Without going into detail, I'm just gonna say I've had the opportunity to reexamine friendships, relationships, love and family. I've felt trampled in the last month or two; I'm still moving forward, but a little bruised in the journey.

I've been reflecting on the nature of friendships lately... An important component of friendship is, obviously, the give and take. Part of my frustration stems from feeling worn out from the giving. I truly believe that being friends with someone means you don't give up on them. Or at least not without a load of effort. I guess as a result, I've invested more into my friendships than I'm seeing in return. It takes me awhile to open myself up to people and develop lasting friendships, and when I do, I expect that they will be reciprocal. I've been hurt in the past few weeks in realizing that apparently friendship doesn't always mean the same thing to everyone else. And, people are human. They aren't perfect. I get that. But I think preserving friendship means believing the best about people. Maybe it's seeing people not always for who they are, but more for who they're trying to be. Which is why I will continue to try, even when people disappoint me and let me down. And I certainly make mistakes too. I'm not the perfect friend, but I can say in good faith that I consistently try to be. Friendship means being there for your friends, even when it's not convenient or easy. It's realizing that hurdles are just that - hurdles - NOT barriers. I want to jump over them and keep running.

I don't want to give up.

3 comments:

A Glimpse said...

I'm right there with ya sister. Not all friendships are one sided and you'll figure out in time who the givers are and who the takers are and you'll just have to be careful and a little guarded with the takers. I think it's all part of entering full adulthood. You find out who's going to be lifelong friends and who isn't and thats okay. I'm praying for you! I had fun at dinner the other evening too! We'll have to do a girls night out sometime soon!

Sarah smiley Blackwell said...

I agree with Sara... it's all a part of getting into full adulthood... and what shocked me about it all, was that a lot of adults act like teenagers in high school. HA. Some days I wonder why all the drama. :)
What is that old saying...
“"A good friend will come bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying...'Damn, that was fun!'"”
love that one!!!

Steven said...

Friendship is unlike anything else in the world. It seems like it should follow the classical laws of give and receive. You expect to get back what you feel you have put into a relationship, but it hardly ever works that way. This especially rings true when you are the one needing them to give back. Your expectations fall short and you wind up being hurt.

I can only tell you that it takes time and a lot of pain to realize this and sort it all out into what it really means. Sometimes true friends will hurt you too but listen to your heart. You already know who your true friends are and those that are just sucking you dry. True friendship isn't about giving and taking. No, it is so much more. It's about offering and receiving. And it is forever reciprocal. True friends are there for you through the shit and bliss of life. And it's the trials and tribulations of life that make your true friends standout amongst all the crap.

I am praying that as you go through this rough time that you will have your eyes opened to the wonderful friendships and relationships you already have. I too pray that you will continue to develop new ones and strengthen those you have now. I will forever thankful for having you in my life and appreciate you for your steadfast friendship during my trying times and now I am here for you.