Well, as some of you probably know, it's been kind of a trying time in my life recently. Without going into detail, I'm just gonna say I've had the opportunity to reexamine friendships, relationships, love and family. I've felt trampled in the last month or two; I'm still moving forward, but a little bruised in the journey.
I've been reflecting on the nature of friendships lately... An important component of friendship is, obviously, the give and take. Part of my frustration stems from feeling worn out from the giving. I truly believe that being friends with someone means you don't give up on them. Or at least not without a load of effort. I guess as a result, I've invested more into my friendships than I'm seeing in return. It takes me awhile to open myself up to people and develop lasting friendships, and when I do, I expect that they will be reciprocal. I've been hurt in the past few weeks in realizing that apparently friendship doesn't always mean the same thing to everyone else. And, people are human. They aren't perfect. I get that. But I think preserving friendship means believing the best about people. Maybe it's seeing people not always for who they are, but more for who they're trying to be. Which is why I will continue to try, even when people disappoint me and let me down. And I certainly make mistakes too. I'm not the perfect friend, but I can say in good faith that I consistently try to be. Friendship means being there for your friends, even when it's not convenient or easy. It's realizing that hurdles are just that - hurdles - NOT barriers. I want to jump over them and keep running.
I don't want to give up.